Tonight I took steps to end a relationship that has become unhealthy for me, and possible the other person. This person is my ex girlfriend who wanted to become friends again. Unfortunately the process has not been kind to me and has created more confusion than anything else. We love each other deeply still, but we can not be together no matter how much we both wished it, and we did. My heart can not stand the strain of such wishes if there isn't any progress towards what you wish for. I was also unable to maintain my boundaries with her, and so many times they became weak or broken leaving me feeling upset. I make mistakes. It comes with living life. But I will not continually make those mistakes. That is why humans and animals have the capacity to learn.
She does not know it yet. She will find out in the morning or sometime tomorrow when she finally comes home to find the letter I wrote. It was a letter of love and endings. I placed no blame in that letter, nor did I make excuses for the results of our actions and decisions. I only accepted what must be done and did it. It breaks my heart. She was the best friend I have ever had and I do not foresee anyone being that close to me for a long time. In time it will be easier to look back at this and know that it is the best decision. She will be happier and able to move on if I do this. She has the potential to be anything she wants and has friends aplenty to support her. She doesn't need me anymore. I will also be able to move on and one day smile at the memories of our time together. These memories will always be beautiful to me, even the ones that hold pain.
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